Instead, I continued towards the locker room and could not get near "Gronk" due to the 412 reporters around his locker. So I turned and waddled towards Deion Branch's locker with a half-baked question about his TD. No one other than his neighbor, Chad Ochocinco, was around. Deion was applying lotion and is only five inches taller than Alanis Morrissette. I introduced myself to he and Ochocinco, and in the process really tried to sell the fact that I was a nice, fun guy. Ochocinco looked at me, not skeptically, but also a bit like I had just told him: "I love orange Jell-O and Roger '007' Moore. Do you like orange Jell-O and Roger '007' Moore? I also make sculptures out of candy corn."
Jeff: Then Tom Brady walked by us, shook Ochocinco's hand in kind of an elderly Episcopalian "peace of the Lord be with you" fashion, called him "CJ" and said, "Sorry. I fucked up. That was six." And mocked catching a pass. "My fault," he continued. "Talk to you soon." Did Ochocinco even play? I had no idea what the hell he was referencing, and I didn't ask. Then someone asked about his suit and Brady said something very deadpan about it being from Jos. A Bank, and he kept moving.
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