7/27/2008

STOP, er, START MAKING SENSE



David Byrne lookalike Ted Thompson aspires for fairness and mediocrity in Green Bay

On opening day, Brett Favre should be in a Packer uniform. He should walk to midfield at Lambeau before kick off, and step up to a microphone. He should speak, but he should not cry. We've seen him cry too much. Grown men can cry and we shouldn't have a spaz when they do. But this guy takes a seat in a booth at a Denny's and if the waitress gives him a bigger-than-normal parsley sprig with his eggs, he fucking loses it and bawls until they lock the place up.

He should say this: "I love football. I want to keep playing. I have been a real jackass and a huge flake. Sorry for being so goddamn weird this year. But anyway, here I am, let's play some football."

The only people dumber than Favre thus far are pride-filled head coach Mike McCarthy and GM Ted Thompson who are displaying the classic, Wisconsin person-with-authority ineptitude, blindness and inflexibility. (see also Bud Selig, Tommy "Anthrax was contracted by drinking from a stream, not terrorism" Thompson, and pretty much every single high school official in the state, ever)

McCarthy on Saturday:

"Aaron Rodgers is the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers," McCarthy said. "That's been stated over and over again. I hope we can finally understand that. That's where we are as an organization and as a head coach of the Green Bay Packers. I don't know how else to answer that question." ...

"We've taken the high road through this whole process, for as difficult as it's been," McCarthy said. "And we've always operated in the best interest of the Packers and also with the utmost respect for Brett Favre."


Like saying Favre carried a Packers' issued cellphone when he didn't? WTF? All so that Aaron "Glass Legs" Rodgers, in danger of becoming an NFL Old Maid at 25, will be handed the QB reins, because you have to stick to your word, and set an example for the team to follow, etc. McCarthy's excuse is basically: "Well, we made a promise."

Is this fucking tee ball? Special Olympics?

"Brett, Aaron’s parents dropped him off here at 3:30 and he has yet to touch the football. So please give it to him."

This is like the goddamn twilight zone. I don't give a shit about Favre's legacy. Or treating the man with respect. Or the people who say he's been on the decline and last year was a fluke. Last year Favre had a halfway decent supporting cast and had his best completion percentage EVER. Look it up. He's simply a better QB than Rodgers. Even as old as he is, he's in the top 5 or 10 QBs in the NFL. It's foolish to "bench" the guy for waffling.

I know what a lot of people are thinking:

NO, JOHNSON, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP. DIDN'T YOU WATCH THE GIANTS NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME? FAVRE LOOKED COLD and TIRED

Yes. Brett Favre looked like shit. You know who else did? The whole team. What kind of motivating was Coach McCarthy doing? Don't answer that. What kind of game plan was Coach "Focus on Defense, now" McCarthy thinking of? The one where Plaxico Burress makes Al Harris look like an old cum rag on the floor of Show World in 1986? Al Harris was destroyed by Burress.

More than half of quarterback Eli Manning's 21 completions were to Burress, who finished with 11 catches for 154 yards in the Giants' 23-20 defeat of the Packers. And, more often than not, Harris had a good view.

Also: IT WAS THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP! FYI: Only two special teams a year get to play in that game! Do you really think Aaron Rodgers will take the Packers to the NFC Championship game in 2008-09? Yes or No?

This is a team in grave danger of sucking massively in 2008. But anyway, here's what Rodgers will do when he is not reminding you of David Whitehurst. He'll basically be the next Eddie Lee Ivery.


11-22-2006:

"Backup Aaron Rodgers said he didn't know how he broke his left foot in the third quarter of Sunday's game against New England and thought he was just feeling sorry for himself because of his poor performance."

12-05-2007:

In the only full-speed portion of the abbreviated hour-long workout, Rodgers pulled his hamstring scrambling during a 2-minute drill.



Rodgers pledges to look more like Jason Priestley if he retains job as Packers starting QB

Let Favre be a Packer in 2008. Don't let him hold any press conferences ever, after the season. Don't let any sideline reporters near him after the last game of the year.




P.S. Ryan Grant--you should quit holding out, you're not that great.

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