I could see Naomi Campbell singing this to a lover at like 11AM when they've just gotten home from doing bad stuff, then having a glass of wine and falling down a spiral staircase dramatically, then walking/limping back up the staircase, repouring the wine, going back down the spiral staircase, looking up at the understandably nervous lover with each step, and taunting him by pretending to fall again, then cackling really loud and giving him the finger and getting on her treadmill with the wine, still in her evening gown, then kicking the shit out of the treadmill because the numbers didn't look right to her, then breaking up with the guy, and calling his cellphone 345 times that afternoon, singing this. Then talking through the lyrics, asking if he knows what they mean. Then, whatever the dude says, she says, "No! No! Silly! It doesn't mean that! You're so stupid. I hate you. I love you. I love you. Now, tell me what you think this song means!" And repeating that until the man walks in front of a bus. Then at his funeral she tells everyone he was stalking her.

But the video, WTF?!?!?!

"Okay Bryan, the budget for the video was approved, what's the first thing we should tackle?"

"I want some new teeth."


"And I want a mountain of orangutan tranqulizer."

"Got it."

"And I want to have, perhaps, the worst posture ever captured on film. I want it to look like one of my hips was stolen, the other is made of cement, and that my spine has been injected with wolverine rabies."

"No sweat."

"And then I want a little fire. And to sit Siskel & Ebert-style and watch my own video within my own video."

"...Within my own video. You're high!!!"

"Ahem. Who's in charge?"

And thus, More Than This the video was born.

I've been on these drugs before, and I don't like them. I watch this and I feel like Bret Easton Ellis is going to pop up out of nowhere and stuff his cock in something that I generally put food in. Bryan Ferry looks too much like Robert Chambers here. His eyes are maybe romantic? Or coke-addled? Not sure. I like Roxy Music. I like their body of work. And this song is almost excellent, the lyrics are really great, but it is missing something, and the video doesn't do a very good job of sweeping it under the rug.

Sofia Coppola, who's fashioned an entire persona out of acting as chilly and disaffected as Kim Gordon, wisely had Bill Murray karaoke this song in Lost in Translation. Personally, I would have liked to have seen Murray do "Under the Milky Way" by The Church (at 20, it's almost old/obscure enough now to reintroduce through the hipster prism) or drunkenly scream his way thru "Back of Love" by Echo & The Bunnymen. But his character was SUBTLE. Okay, I get it. You know what would have slayed? Him doing "shipbuilding" with Robert Wyatt's creepy voice.

But anyway, we got "More Than This" and a very, very charming movie. If you only watch it one time. Lost in Translation, on repeated viewings is really grim, and sort of insulting.

But why stand in the way of this masterpiece?

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