6/12/2006
Roethlisberger means Dumbass in Pittsburghese
"He [Cowher] talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."
Sorry. I realize this is everywhere by now. He said the above in reference to not wearing a helmet when he rides his motorcycle. I guess trading a career in professional football for good old fashioned brain damage (not mutually exclusive btw) is cool.
That's like saying "I'll be more careful when I hold lit matches near my penis. The fire can't really get that hot. Plus my penis is covered up with this thick rag that I've gotten really wet with gasoline. Shouldn't be a big deal. Then I think I will give a truck driver a small mountain of crystal meth, and I will put on my rollerblades and ski behind his truck. I'll do it in the summer, so it isn't so icy out on the highway. I don't take risks. Then I'm gonna start my lawn mower, and flip it over cause I need to get a good look at how the blade spins. But I don't want to disturb anyone, so I'll take it about 75 miles from the nearest hospital, and I'll throw my cellphone into the creek beforehand so it doesn't get chopped up. I'll probably make love to some Thai shemale prostitutes before that, but I won't use a condom. That would ruin it. They've also told me that they like to make cardhouses using credit cards, so I sent them all of mine, and when they get bored they'll just come over and we'll get it on. But not before I try to talk some sense into this rabid grizzly bear that has been taunting Western PA. I don't have any clean shirts, so I'm just going to make one out of these old bloody steaks I have lying around. Then go sleep near its cave. I'm gonna guzzle a shitload of medicated cough syrup too, just so I am calm."
Basically Ben, you can either truly be safe, and keep winding up in the end zone during the Super Bowl and guarantee that you're grandchildren will never have to work, or you can keep riding your cycle and watch the game from the confines of a wheelchair at a tavern, telling every one how awesome you once were while looking around for spare dimes and/or teeth under the jukebox.
PS Has anyone ever listened to ESPN's DOUG GOTTLIEB? Easily the worst talk radio host ever. Spent about 90 minutes talking about stigmas and stereotypes yesterday (and how they can be WRONG!!!!! and MISLEADING!!!!!) before launching into a soccer update. Talked about a tie. And how a tie is like kissing your sister. Then he said something like "Wait, down south they might really go for that." Oh, back to the old southern hillbilly inbred stereotype and stigma, eh? Hey Doug, if you aren't learning from your own bullshit, how are we supposed to? Face it, you had like three hours to kill and nothing in the way of material. Great job. And I didn't spend the whole day listening, so I am not sure if he brought up the biggest stigma about himself: getting booted from Notre Dame, and its hoops team, for apparently stealing credit cards.
Sorry. I realize this is everywhere by now. He said the above in reference to not wearing a helmet when he rides his motorcycle. I guess trading a career in professional football for good old fashioned brain damage (not mutually exclusive btw) is cool.
That's like saying "I'll be more careful when I hold lit matches near my penis. The fire can't really get that hot. Plus my penis is covered up with this thick rag that I've gotten really wet with gasoline. Shouldn't be a big deal. Then I think I will give a truck driver a small mountain of crystal meth, and I will put on my rollerblades and ski behind his truck. I'll do it in the summer, so it isn't so icy out on the highway. I don't take risks. Then I'm gonna start my lawn mower, and flip it over cause I need to get a good look at how the blade spins. But I don't want to disturb anyone, so I'll take it about 75 miles from the nearest hospital, and I'll throw my cellphone into the creek beforehand so it doesn't get chopped up. I'll probably make love to some Thai shemale prostitutes before that, but I won't use a condom. That would ruin it. They've also told me that they like to make cardhouses using credit cards, so I sent them all of mine, and when they get bored they'll just come over and we'll get it on. But not before I try to talk some sense into this rabid grizzly bear that has been taunting Western PA. I don't have any clean shirts, so I'm just going to make one out of these old bloody steaks I have lying around. Then go sleep near its cave. I'm gonna guzzle a shitload of medicated cough syrup too, just so I am calm."
Basically Ben, you can either truly be safe, and keep winding up in the end zone during the Super Bowl and guarantee that you're grandchildren will never have to work, or you can keep riding your cycle and watch the game from the confines of a wheelchair at a tavern, telling every one how awesome you once were while looking around for spare dimes and/or teeth under the jukebox.
PS Has anyone ever listened to ESPN's DOUG GOTTLIEB? Easily the worst talk radio host ever. Spent about 90 minutes talking about stigmas and stereotypes yesterday (and how they can be WRONG!!!!! and MISLEADING!!!!!) before launching into a soccer update. Talked about a tie. And how a tie is like kissing your sister. Then he said something like "Wait, down south they might really go for that." Oh, back to the old southern hillbilly inbred stereotype and stigma, eh? Hey Doug, if you aren't learning from your own bullshit, how are we supposed to? Face it, you had like three hours to kill and nothing in the way of material. Great job. And I didn't spend the whole day listening, so I am not sure if he brought up the biggest stigma about himself: getting booted from Notre Dame, and its hoops team, for apparently stealing credit cards.
